#Do they need it spelt out that badly

[jayktoralldaylong]

Going through Jayvik in the Arcane fandom makes me understand more and more why more ships need to be confirmed as canon.

At first, I thought confirming ships was not so important so that the gays could still make money marketing the media to the rich homophobes (like, we might as well take their money.).

BUT OH. MY. GOD!

Is it EXHAUSTING to come this far and still have people trying to explain that Jayce and Viktor were just brothers. MEANWHILE, if EITHER ONE OF THEM was a GIRL, they would suddenly have the vision! 🤬😭

[ohsunnyboy]

coherent waves | lee anton ˚₊‧⁺˖

people say the first touch of fate feels like a circuit being completed. so why does lee anton's soulmate seem to hate him?

TAGS: soulmate!au, college!au, gn!reader, cute and awkward engineering majors!anton and reader, confessions in the rain, kiss!

A/N: this boy bias wrecked me SO hard i paused writing a sungchan fic for this haha self-indulgent SCREAMiing as always (to clarify, his mark is on his left, our right)

WORDS: ~1700

Everyone knows Lee Anton's face.

No matter what, everyone's got their campus crushes. The people they'd linger around a corner for in hope of seeing, those with soulmarks you wish would line up just perfectly with your own. Somewhere out there, someone's walking around with your first touch of fate around with them. It's for that reason everyone knows Anton as the campus crush.

It's impossible to miss the six feet of cuteness, the shoulders broad enough to span the Californian coast and the tan handprint branded across his left cheek. Lee Anton, the sweetest guy on campus whose soulmate was destined to slap him in the face once they met. Nothing in it spelt destiny for you, but it was definitely curiosity at first sight.

"Hey, are we okay? Just at group study…” And your brain sputters like a misfiring car. He’s right behind you, isn’t he?

You want to pretend you didn’t hear him over the bucketing rain – maybe even your thunderous heart. Without an umbrella, you’re screwed if you run down the library steps into the dark and you’d look insane to push past him back into the library. Damn.

Not once did you dare speak to him during the entire group study. Though the feeling of his curious eyes lingering on you alone lit you up like a fuse about to blow. No wonder he's asking you if you're okay. The entire time you acted like some tween with a stupid crush. Which you’re not. Clearly and obviously not. First year electrical engineering has enough problems to give you a migraine.

Something about being around him sets your brain off like a capacitor discharging. Everything firing off at once, without a thought of where to go.  

"No? Yes! Yes. Fuck – sorry. We’re fine." Is what you come up with.

And some boy can apparently render you stupid within two feet of him. Someone needs to remind you how you’re a candidate for the dean’s list again.

Your stilted answer and the ensuing silence cause the corner of Anton's lip to quirk into a grimace. "Ah – okay. Sorry, I'll see you Friday.” When he takes out his umbrella it nearly whacks you in the face before he starts to run down the steps, leaving not a glance behind him.

Ah, shit.

Stunned, you’re left with a) no umbrella and b) a burning sense of mortification about how badly that went. Before you know it, your feet are running you down the path he took. One problem at a time… c’mon fix this. "Hey! Hey wait up, please! Anton!"

Running in the pouring rain was something you never planned on doing tonight or any day of the week but for fixing whatever you’ve got with Anton – it seems worth it.

Whatever they used to say about stem majors being chronically unfit bookworms definitely applies to you, as your heart thuds in your skull and lungs start to give out. Somehow after months of trailing behind his broad back, you underestimated how quickly he can escape you. 

Finally, like a lighthouse in the night, his blue umbrella is radiant under the light of the bus stop. “Anton!”

Three months of dodging each other’s eyes and scampering out empty classrooms early, Anton’s eyes are at the edges of almost all your memories. You know his wide eyed look anywhere. But with as much grace of a new-born giraffe, you sidle next to him under his umbrella, unaware of the blush warming Anton’s face.

Thankfully there’s no one else about apart from him to watch you keel over for a solid minute to gather your breath. Internally you think you’re as bright red as the LEDs you use in the labs. That, and so soaked you’re sure you're waking up with a cold tomorrow. Though, it could be worse. It could be whatever happened earlier.

Caught again in his orbit, you feel it again. The charge crackling under your skin that makes you want to claw at it.

It’s a moment before anyone speaks, still too busy process what exactly is going on. Eventually you gain your bearings and look into his shifty eyes with resolution.

“Hey look – I’m super sorry about everything,” you blurt. “The entire thing with the study group and completely dodging you in class. I – well, it’s not on purpose but I don’t know why but it’s like I get caught in some interference feed within like a metre of you and I just can’t think straight. Everything just sort of fires off in an incoherent mess. I’m trying, I really do but for once, I just can’t explain it.” It pours out in what feels like one breath. You feel like you’re teetering on the spot, on the cusp of embarrassment or sheer confidence. At this point, it might just be both. “… Sorry if I made you uncomfortable about anything but you’re top of our year, so damn cool and collected all the time – I feel like my wires get mixed up.” 

There’s an ache in your neck from looking up to him and watching his reaction. Calm and collected as always. It must be the longest you’ve ever got to look him in the eyes properly. Until,

“Me too.”

Huh?

Anton pauses for a moment, worrying the inside of his cheek before admitting, “I… I really wished we could talk more but you’re always busy and I feel awkward butting in. You’re really intimidating in the group studies, you know? You know everything and get along with everyone so easily. I psyche myself out.”

As he talks, your cheeks warm in endearment and you shuffle closer while he’s distracted. The familiar scent of cherries that would haunt you around campus suddenly right under your nose.

“I mean, I thought you’d just be another person put off by this-“ he waves a self-conscious hand over his soulmark “-and being avoidant because of that. Though I guess I figured you didn’t care because you never lingered on it like… like everyone else.”

It comes to you all in pieces. Anton always ducking his head away, never looking anyone straight on, always pursing his lips and turning away whenever someone brought up soulmarks. Those rumours haunt him.

However, standing here you’ve never been more confident. You know your what your hand looks like.

Does he?

“I think it has a good story.” The look of disbelief he gives you is priceless but you push on. “I mean, mine’s just on my palm just like seventy percent of the population so it can be boring.” Under the light, you raise your hand to him, showing the contrasting darker skin on your right palm and the small shake of your fingers. Anton locks onto your mark with a laser focus that you’ve never seen before. “And besides… I think you know what your soulmark actually is.”

One step closer: you’re just a hairsbreadth away. So close you can feel is body heat through his hoodie and see your breath leaving goosebumps on the expanse of his exposed neck. In the reflection of his blown pupils you can almost see yourself.

He swallows, eyes never leaving your palm. "You know what everyone says about it." Anton chews at his lip, bitten raw from worry. It’s stupidly endearing whether he knows it or not. Instead of dropping it, you raise your hand, leaving it to rest on his shoulder in comfort. “That the only reason I get slapped is because I’m secretly an asshole?”

"You don't know that it’s a slap for sure.”

"Then what else could it be then.”

"Really, Anton?" you hum. He’s so tense under your hand you feel like he could shatter from where you touch him. His eyes dazed and lingering where your hand used to be "We’re both smarter than this.”

Under the streetlight, what he has is clear as day to you while you trace his mark with your eyes. The thumbprint that curls across his left cheekbone, to the fingertips that edge from his hairline to his jaw and even the light shadow that touches the corner of his lip – as if he’s pressing a kiss to the heel of their palm. "Whoever it is, they're holding you."

“…Whoever it is… ?” he murmurs.

Anton’s unwavering gaze finally bores into you. Two interstellar blackholes swallowing you up and bearing down. An infinite number of thoughts or none at all. All behind those eyes, calculating and calibrating. You wonder where he is in that brilliant mind of his.

“Do it.”

You’re so careful.

You don’t know what you’d do with yourself if you hurt him. Maybe this doesn’t work out? What if you’re just another person in the crowd watching and waiting for someone else. You knew from the moment you started high school, life was a bunch of problems that you had to solve. The sheer existence of uncertainty guarantees nothing in any aspect of your life. What is guaranteed already, what are the variables, what are you working with. Whatever this is – it’ll be another problem but not one you get to calculate – it's one you need to guess.

His skin is too warm, and your hand is too cold. Nothing sparks but something is complete in your heart.

It fades. The marks – yours, his, all of it. It recedes back as if it never existed.

"I told you so."   

The clatter of the umbrella is your only warning before his hands cup your face and he kisses you. He kisses you in earnest, softer than you'd expect and warm enough to make your knees weak. With a deceptive strength, Anton presses you back against a railing, and your arms loop around his neck, hands burying in his hair. Hidden muscles you used to wonder about, tense where you touch him.

Eyes closed to the rain, foreheads knocked together and not a care in the world. You’re pulled into him like air. Both of you are trembling with relief. Like coherent waves, you come together in sync and everything you feel is amplified between you two. It’s then you know exactly what was racing in his mind.

Smiling into your neck, Anton sighs. "I'm yours." His voice lower and a little bit breathier. It makes your heart skip a beat, and your mouth turns up at the corners.

All across your veins it’s like a current is pushing through your skin. Anton and you, a circuit complete.

blehh i'm rusty but i'm starting uni as a mechEng student soonish so wish me luck 🫡 a reblog or a like always helps to encourage more thank you! ⭒ masterlist

[modanisgf]

001. TRAPHOUSE (WRITTEN)

prev | next | masterlist

— IF y/n was sure about anything it was the fact that she was going to kill kang yunseo. the girl was giggling beside her as their manager told y/n about an upcoming awards show, and the fact that she would be an mc for it.

if this was any other day, y/n sure as hell wouldn’t have agreed but fortunately for her danielle from newjeans would be her partner. you would be lying if you said you hadn’t developed a liking to the girl, despite your limited interactions. yunseo knew this, causing her to tell their manager that y/n wanted the job badly without ever telling her.

the youngest member of saturnz was always starting some kind of trouble, so y/n couldn’t exactly be surprised. the girl let out a sigh as the two of them were finally excused from the meeting, y/n's eyes never meeting yunseo’s as she stared her down.

“are you mad?” she asks quietly, making the older girl shake her head.

“why would i be mad yun?” y/n says to the younger girl, giving her a small smile.

“this gives me a chance to talk to danielle, so thank you.” she says, a smile emerging on yunseo’s face at her words.

“yeah, don’t blow it y/n.” she says smirking, making y/n groan.

“we can’t ever have a sweet moment.”

—

y/n had always loved the sunset. it calmed her to see the bright orange circle set, ending the day, finally. she sat on the couch that was near the window, her attention fully turned to the sky as the sun set. it was sad y/n couldn’t go outside and see it, but she managed.

aera sits down next to y/n, the girl taking in the beautiful colors in front of her.

“it’s always so pretty,” aera says softly, whispering it in a low tone to her younger member.

“i know, it reminds me of home.” y/n responds before continuing to bask in the beauty of the sunset. a smile arose on her face, making aera smile.

"are you ready for tomorrow?" she asks, to which y/n nods.

"it'll help us, i hope.” y/n says quietly.

“y/n..”

“aera, we need any publicity we can get.” y/n states firmly, the thought of everything that had happened so far since debut irritating her.

aera nods silently, choosing not to fight with y/n today. the girl was determined to get her members and her out, she’d do anything for them.

the silence was loud as y/n’s head hit her pillow, making her wince at the hardness of it.

“jia, did you put something under my pillow again?” y/n says, glaring at her other member laying in a small bed next to her.

“oh yeah my bad, i forgot to get my walkie talkie from under there.” jia says, trying to suppress her laughter.

“are you serious?” y/n says, in disbelief.

“no! i don’t know what’s under your pillow?” jia says, appalled at her members stupidity.

y/n rolled over quickly, picking up the pillow to reveal a small box.

“how the hell did you miss that?”

“oh shut up!”

y/n took the box in her hands, opening it carefully as if it was an artifact. the box revealed a small bracelet, having letter beads on it. it spelt out ‘saturnz’, following a heart.

“aera.” y/n says softly, trying to hold back her tears.

jia sat up, looking at the bracelet with a smile on her face.

“she always knows how to make us happy.” jia says, looking at y/n now.

even if it was such a small gesture, it didn’t fail to make y/n smile. aera knew she felt down earlier, so she made her a bracelet to remind her of her members when she was out. y/n sighed, the girl was always so thoughtful.

“i wouldn’t trade it for the world.”

TAGS 🏷️ (OPEN): @neptunedayss @pandafuriosa60 @yeetaberry127 @yncoreee @hotluvlet @eccobe @sixflame438 @saysirhc @haerinkisser @gtfoiydlyj @audizbiass @starstruckgoateepuppy @gigislovergirl @airice @danilvrr @mimsiemoo @pminjucaptor @gayforalll @yjiminswallet @grahstumhurts @nwjnsloona @he------len

[toa-arania]

I found Touhou on IMDB and then it got worse.

So there's a bit of a story behind this, as there should be with any post. I have spent the past *checks clock* fifteen minutes and counting losing my goddamn mind over this.

Touhou 1-11, including 7.5 but not 9.5 or 10.5 for some reason, are all on IMDB. This is not that strange, as many video games are listed there for their writing or voice credits. What's weird is how I discovered this. I heard a voice in, of all things, a four and a half hour video about the Lego Ninjago show and how badly it fumbles its women. One of the characters sounded a bit like Azula ATLA so I checked. It was not the same VA. Then I saw this.

And then I saw this.

Now the sharp-witted amongst you may have noticed the tiny little inconsistency that

TOUHOU DOES NOT HAVE VOICE ACTING

Touhou has never had voice acting, especially not back in 2003 when PCB came out. There's also the detail that Layla Prismriver does not appear in PCB, nor does she appear in any Touhou game outside of her mention in the character profile of the Prismrivers, which firmly establishes her as very dead and thusly incapable of speech. You'll be pleased to know that it continues to get worse.

This is not the plot of PCB. What the fuck do you mean only one of these heroines intends to stop it. The cast list is also fucking bizarre.

Merlin and Lunasa are here but fuck Lyrica I guess. Alice and Youmu are not credited and REIMU ISN'T HERE EITHER. Youki Konpaku is credited. Youki Konpaku is not in this game. The goddamn Saigyou Ayakashi (which is spelt disastrously wrong here of course) is given a voice credit. THAT IS A TREE. THAT IS A TREE THAT DOES NOT TALK IN A GAME THAT DOES NOT HAVE VOICE ACTING. I AM GOING INSANE. WHERE IS REIMU.

Now obviously what I did at this point is start checking the other ones, and th8, 9, and 10 don't really have much interesting going on other than a continued and bizarre lack of Reimu in all of them. 6, 7.5, and 11 however are all bizarre for fun new reasons. Let's start with Subterranean Animism and work backwards.

I was suspicious of the lack of images so I went to check all of their pages and they're mostly men as far as I can tell. Most of them are credited in a film called Sule, Ay Need You, which a brief google has only barely convinced me is a real film that exists in the first place. It has a wikipedia article in indonesian. One of them, however (the only one with a picture) has been in eleven million different things with reasonably big parts. I have no idea what's going on here. With the player character situation there are eight characters uncredited not including Koishi, who is also nowhere to be seen (which feels strangely appropriate) and Sanae who I remembered literally as I was typing this is in th11.

Moving on to Immaterial and Missing Power:

TGHAT'S REIMU

Also I'm pretty sure Meiling wasn't in IaMP? (According to a quick google she was added in a patch but not given a story mode). Anyway the sudden appearance of Reimu is the only real interesting thing here because random cast absences are just so commonplace now. Now lastly for the weird fucking pages we have the Embodiment of Scarlet Devil and oh wow this one is something else.

Where do I even begin. Reimu is gone again. Three separate people are credited as Remilia. Actually most characters are credited twice except for Marisa and Sakuya for some reason. Sometimes they specify (voice) and sometimes they just don't. Most characters have [Character Name] and [Character Name (Voice)] which implies that one person is doing mocap or operating a puppet or something while another voices them but then there's just Rumia and Rumia. Who voices Rumia. Remilia has three fucking credits. Marisa and Sakuya get to be normal people. Reimu and Patchouli are just fucking gone. What the hell is happening.

And now it gets stranger once again because I said th1-11 earlier, not th6-11. The PC-98 games are all here too. However. Those pages are all just. Normal. ZUN is credited as the writer. There are correct plot summaries. No voices are credited. The name format is even different (Touhou [Number] [Japanese name]: [English name] instead of just Touhou [Japanese name]: [English name]). They're far too good quality. It honestly feels like whoever uploaded the PC-98 games is a different person to whoever's been doing their bizarre uploads of the windows games.

Now at this point I was looking for other interesting stuff to add - IMDB has Did You Know segments that had fun little details about the games, which seemed to be accurate. It also has a More Like This section linking to the other pages and-

...

...

Luna Nights is here too.

...

LUNA NIGHTS ALSO DOESN'T HAVE VOICE ACTING!!!!!!!!

[a1ecmcdowell]

on the outskirts of the good morning america! stage stand two men far too big for the aprons being tied around their waists. one has a cigarette in his teeth, the other has a joint, and neither look at each other. it’s already too much that they have them standing right next to each other to walk out together; why the hell would they push it?

“looks great, sweetheart,” ben says to the assistant adjusting the frilly deep red fabric around his waist, straightening the spelt letters on them. most wonderful. as if he needed any more fuel to the fire that was his ego.

cole got time of the year. they're supposed to go onto that stage, stand close enough for people to read their cheesy aprons as a full sentence, and present a united front. no, america, these guys do not hate each other — look, they're having the most wonderful time of the year.

who's idea was it to turn this sentence into matching aprons, anyways? ben got a compliment and cole got a time on a calendar.

cole scoffs. ben snorts. as much as he loathes to admit it ever, ben knew cole pretty well, tended to know where his head was at. "and don't you just look darlin'."

"fuck off."

one of the vought higher ups shoots him a stern look. "get it all out of your system before you walk onto that stage," she scolds, nearly a foot shorter than the both of them but with far more fire than either, "because you will not blow this for yourselves, or for vought."

"my reputation is not bankin' on a pussy little talk show about making sugar cookies, madison," her name was madison, apparently, and ben says it with enough conviction that cole thinks they've had conversations like this before, "and puttin' me out there to try and save his when i've had to save his ass many—"

"oh, piss off," cole scoffs again, stamping his cigarette out on the bottom of his boot. "i've been doing great on my own, this has nothing to do with..." he trails off when he catches madison's eye.

madison's smile hardens into something more sympathetic, like she really, truly, regrets to inform him of what's going to come out of her mouth. "smiling like a serial killer when asked to be gentler in your appearances is not 'doing great,' reaper. it's doing the bare minimum. badly."

ben takes the words as ammunition, loads them up in his throat and fires, with a twinkling grin. "you're the bare minimum and i'm the most wonderful. gonna frame this moment—" he holds his hands up together, and spreads them like he's displaying something other than his eye twitching attitude. "good morning america! — where cole found his true self in goddamn buttercream icing, of all things."

"oh my god." cole turns, grabbing a fistful of ben's frilly, sparkly apron and yanking him by it. "one of these days, someone's gonna knock you down a few pegs, and it's gonna stick. and when it happens, i'll be front row—"

a gentle hand touches cole's elbow, hesitantly. well, this is doing nothing for his rep at all. at least he fucked up the meticulously straightened words on ben's apron. the headset wearing girl who approached the both of them smiles just as forced as every single one of cole's. "you two are on in five."

★ ˚⋆

"now, you'd never be able to tell by lookin' at him, amy," ben starts, placing his hand on cole's shoulder for the thirteenth time in five minutes, "but reaper here loves sugar cookies. dontcha, reap?"

cole started counting at touch six. it's all a game to ben, and cole really, really hates his games. "yep. love 'em."

he should be giving more. but honestly, the only thing in his head is how desperately, how furiously, he wants to snap ben's wrist.

ben pats him on the shoulder again. fourteen. "tell the people how much you love 'em, don't be shy."

he was not being shy, he was being civil. "if you don't get your goddamn hands off of me, ben, i swear to god, i'm breaking every single one of your knuckles."

the soft gasps of the live audience, and the production team falling completely and utterly silent, is the sole indicator that his mic really is as sensitive as they warned him about, and he ignored.

"it's okay!" the host, amy, says quickly, her smile forced and so damn jolly for it being seven in the morning. "we'll... censor it."

that was the worst thing that anyone could have said to them.

the first batch of cookies was already done, pretend baked in the oven when it'd been sitting right in front of them under the counter the whole time, so when ben picked up the remaining ball of cookie dough and threw it at cole, everything fell apart rather quickly.

"did you just f*cking-" cole shoves his hand into the bag of flour, throwing the handful of powder at ben. "don't be a f***ing c*nt."

ben's cackling, white staining the entire front of his glittery red apron in splotches. "batter's up!" flour puffs in his face as cole throws another, dust dancing in front of his laughing expression. "get it? the g*ddamn batter's- well, it's down now, actually."

"shut the hell up."

"um, hey guys," amy says from behind them, flour all over her maroon long sleeve from being caught in the crossfire, "maybe we should... not do this."

they've never listened to anyone in their lives, but especially now, when they're stronger than anyone else in the universe.

"hey, he copped an attitude with me, sweetcheeks," ben says, snatching a cookie off of the tray in front of him, flinging it like a frisbee. "i'm just defending myself."

"well, maybe-"

"defending yourself? so you feel threatened... by flour," cole says, laughing incredulously. "oh! i know why. givin' you flashbacks, isn't it? looks a little too much like c*caine... poor baby."

ben's eyes flash. "watch your f*cking mouth."

"go on, soldier boy! tell the audience how much you love sugar cookies!" cole grabs another handful of flour, blowing it in a poof in front of ben's face. "all that white powder on top... g*ddamn, no wonder you wanted to do this show so badly!"

ben dips his hand into the red icing in front of him, slapping the wad across cole's cheek. the smack sound is so much more pronounced with the buttercream on his palm, and cole can't help it. as much as he wants to be angry, to maybe light the whole room up if it meant incinerating ben, he laughs heartily. "did you just f*cking slap me with buttercream?"

"alright," amy announces over the sound of cole's laughter, and ben's spluttering of it, too, through his defensive words. "i'll be back after this short commercial break."

behind the curtains, madison has her head in her hands. on the stage, ben's swiping his finger across cole's cheek and shoving the icing laden digit between his lips. "pretty damn good," he mumbles gruffly, a twitch of a hesitant smile on his mouth.

most wonderful time of the year indeed.

notes, oh u guys this was so so fun thank u to everyone who convinced me to write it PLSORDLSJ I <3 CHRISTMAS DRABBLES

tags, @jasvtsc @deanswidow @ultravi0lence14 @ostaramoon

[konigsblog]

whorentia or however it was spelt, literally has in her pinned post about not bullying people for their preferences, being yourself and having fun etc. but orla, when people do that to you, you have to accept it!!!! you can’t block them!!!! they might find something out about you!!! 💀

a reply also said people might just come across your post without realising you were a dark content writer after you literally already said that your posts have warnings. if that’s the case, it would literally be impossible to not know what they’re going to read. people are really trying to grasp at every last thing possible to make you look bad. deep down they know they can just block but for some reason they don’t and they choose to be upset about it. this is why these people have so much hatred, because they’re always so negative and can’t take responsibility of their own content consumption. i always wonder if these people are actually 18+ because the way they act always seems really immature.

honestly it's laughable!! i know exactly WHO they're talking about. because they're all friends, they're following each other. there's three people involved, and a couple names i won't be mentioning because i have a suspicion they may be underage, while one is a confirmed minor. definitely weird how one account made FOUR different accounts to send me a message simply because they couldn't keep their immaturity to themselves, then acted as if i was obsessed, while they probably have a whole group chat dedicated to me by the looks of it, it wouldn't surprise me.

look, people need to realise that you're not owed an explanation for why you're blocked. it was pretty funny to see them not make one singular valid and clear point and then call me immature for blocking them because they were being disrespectful and disregarding my boundaries, while they had made countless comments and accounts to try speak to me. i wasn't surprised they were underage honestly.

they acted as if i got my friends to harass them. i didn't get anyone to respond to them, my friends chose to do it, whether that's because they wanted to support me, or had an opinion they wanted to share themselves. when you post a comment publicly, you have to be prepared for comments, responses, and opinions form other people. if they didn't want to receive responses, then they should've kept their comment to themselves.

and the person you mentioned? yeah, pretty strange how they say you shouldn't judge someone for their preferences, while doing the exact same thing. these people are hypocrites; they don't care if it happens to you, just as long as it isn't them.

and the other person (you know who you are, if you're reading this — which you shouldn't be able to, considering you're blocked, but i assume you keep tabs on people... 🥴😬) they acted as if i blocked them because they asked me questions respectfully. they were respectful in the dms, but began to reblog hate posts about me. don't act oblivious. i mean seriously? what did you expect? when you reblog hate posts about me, agreeing with them in any way, i will 100% block you.

i won't continue talking about these people, and i won't be mentioning their usernames (unless you want to block them yourself, then message me), because again, i have doubts they're actually adults, and can tell one person in particular wants attention BADLY.

[awholelottayeehaw]

Din vs Bo as a Leader

I've seen people say that Bo is the rightful ruler of Mandalore and owner of the darksaber and deserves to lead and I'm genuinely curious to hear from others as to why that is because I'm having a very hard time seeing that point of view. Semi-spoilerish for people who aren't up to date but I kept it vague enough to not be a problem I don't think.

Since CW and Rebels, Bo has continually made choices that negatively impact the people around her. She's a morally gray character who has a list of war crimes on her rep sheet that honestly makes some real life bad guys look green and it baffles me that people want her redemption to be easy. I'm not saying she should never be redeemed, I genuinely believe people should have the chance to turn over a new leaf cause being human is hard, but how she's acting and being treated in Mando feels like a middle finger to those her actions caused harm to. Like she can be sad about her sister all she wants but she willingly joined a terrorist group who spelt it out for her that they planned on publicly executing Satine and followed the orders of two Sith lords, and she didn't see that as a deal breaker. Being sad over that is like being upset that you got shot in the foot when you fired the gun yourself when you continue to make choices that negatively impact others. And this season alone Bo hasn't tried to be a leader to her people, she cared more about the title and the weapon it comes with than actual democracy. She wields it well, yes, but so did Sabine who taught her how and gave her the weapon despite not knowing how badly Bo has fucked up with it in the past. The moment the darksaber was in Din's hands and she lost her crew, she didn't try to scout Mandalore and find other Mandalorians to help her with her decades long failed plan. She didn't try to put any plans together with outside help to achieve her goal or even try to establish a new territory for her people to be safe on until they can find a way to make Mandalore a livable again. She was never an active leader, just someone who craved leadership and believed was owed it because of her birth right and that reflects in the selfish choices she's made while in a leadership position, which include harming Din and Paz. She didn't lead her people into the siege and trap that awaited them, Din did. He shouldered and strong armed his way through and was willingly going to sacrifice himself if it meant a safe planet for his people and foundling. And she wasn't the last out, Paz was, and for that his clan suffered major losses. She had focused more on weapons and supplies for her fleet and siege than the actual people who would help her achieve her goal, and not once has she discussed what she planned on doing once Mandalore was safe for all Mandalorians again. Reuniting and rebuilding isn't the same as establishing a political system that benefits the well being of her people with the promise of a stable economy, fair societal roles, establishing an intergalactic democracy to avoid what Nevarro went through, and combining the differing traditions/beliefs the remaining Mandalorians have to not favor one over the other and unintentionally cause a civil war. Each time she's gained leadership it's always met with mixed support, often not universally, and has led to her downfall three times now for a reason.

Just the same, I've seen people argue that Din doesn't want to lead/rule and isn't the kind of man who'd be a good leader and I strongly disagree. Since the first episode, Din established himself as a selfless character even if it irritated him to be accommodating. He still tried to compromise with the Jawas, didn't turn his back to Frog Lady needing a ride, was willingly going to sacrifice himself to a Krayt Dragon for people he had just met and entrusted with Grogu, went head first into every battle even for people who didn't deserve it (Ran's Crew), was everyone's Ride or Die at least once, became multilingual which was used more to keep the peace than to gain information on his quarries, and has united and mediated more unlikely foes to friends than anyone else in the SW universe. Even if his actions originated with a selfish need (gaining Boba's armor back for Mandalorians, exchanging his services for info on where Mandalorians/Jedi are for Grogu, etc) he still went above and beyond because it's the honorable and right thing to do and his compassion has earned him friendships across the galaxy and allyship on every planet he's visited whereas Bo can't get even her own people behind her without a legendary sword in her hand. You can't tell me all the people Din met on his journey WOULDN'T lay down their lives for him if he asked?? Paz already did despite Din's choice to rescue Grogu despite unintentionally causing a massacre because Paz recognized the selflessness behind Din's choice that carried over to Paz's own foundling and that is what gained his respect and allyship. Din hadn't asked for anything in return, and his own motive for moving the covert was so that their children could play in the sun and the future generations can flourish. I'm fairly certain even Sorgon would join forces whether it's to take care of Din if he had a bad head cold or taking back a whole planet for him. Same with Peli and her droids, Tusken Raider survivors, Freetown, Boba and his syndicates, Frog Lady and her hoard of warrior toddlers, Karga and the grateful people of Nevarro, Ahsoka, and Miggs Mayfield. We've made jokes about Din accidentally making friends all over the galaxy for a reason. He's so selfless that he never saw himself worthy of his Creed, of being Grogu's father, of being a leader when everyone else has told him otherwise. Din's view on leadership reflects his own self esteem wrecked by his cult and it would take everyone he's ever helped to make him see that he is the leader that the galaxy needs to reunite not just The Mandalorians, but all the people and their planets I mentioned. Leadership comes with a burden for Bo, but for Din, it comes with the strength and camaraderie Bo has only ever dreamed of having and that The Armorer overlooked because of her narrow, traditional views. And this is a side comment, but Din mastered riding the stubborn Blurgg after Kuill made fun of him for not being able to conquer it when Mandalorians rode Mythosaurs into battle. Din riding a Mythosaur would be a great call back to that and would gain more respect as a leader than just having the darksaber. In my opinion.

I genuinely hope Bo comes to these conclusions herself and recognizes that Din is more deserving of the role than anyone else and passes the darksaber back to him and helps him see his potential than just saving the day yet again from the very gun she shot everyone with. Redemption for her starts with letting go of the very thing that's plagued her her whole life and leadership is recognizing when you need more time before you can be the example people need to be the best versions of themselves. This isn't a Bo hate post or any stan post, this is a fan post who wants a fair redemption arc for Bo and a chance for Din to rise up to the best version of himself he's capable of being. So yes, I want to hear everyone's thoughts whether you agree or disagree that doesn't involve Bo being the rightful heir or wanting her redemption cause you like her as a character. I want to hear deeper reasons than surface level motives, cause as I said, your favorite hurting over the consequences of her decades long actions she never learns from isn't a good enough reason for her to lead or have the darksaber but I'm down for any other explanations people have regardless if you're a casual fan of the show or lifelong SW fans like myself.

[dearweirdme]

Re the jikook anon who wrote a novel while trying to pretend they don’t hate Tae…

I have a question for you...what will your reaction be if you realise one day that jikook have always been just friends & nothing more?

How will you view Jimin as a person when you come to find out he’s dated other people?

Will you judge him because he has ‘honestly done & said things which could imply that he’s in a romantic relationship with Jungkook’? Will you say he did it just because most of his fans are jikookers?

What will you do when you realise Taekook are the real couple?

Will you blame Jimin as a bad friend to Tae? What kind of a person will you think Jimin is for doing these things ‘even though he knew exactly what it looked like’?

Would you honestly hold him accountable for misleading millions of fans with his words & actions or would you find ways to continue making excuses for him?

All you jikookers that hate Tae because you think he’s a bad friend & home wrecker, will you redirect your hate to Jimin? Will you still think Jimin is a good person? How would you explain his behaviour?

Ok, I’m going to stop here - I could go on paraphrasing all the ridiculous things you said, but I am rolling my eyes so badly that I’m getting a headache.

I HOPE it’s obvious that I don’t think any of these things about Jimin, but I fear you actually need that spelt out.

Unless you jikook anon are completely stupid, you’re going to realise that I’m quoting your words back to you, but putting Jimin’s name instead of Tae.

Can you see how completely unjust & ridiculous this is? How you are hating on Tae in a way he & of course Jimin do not deserve?

I & the vast majority of of Taekookers don’t hate or even dislike Jimin because we have no reason to - the fact that you hate Tae the way you do is very sad.

And it’s interesting that you aren’t ‘accusing’ Jk of trying to fool fans by talking about Tae, going out with Tae - both alone & with Wogga - of showing that Tae is very important in his life… are you going to blame Jk when you don’t get what you want, or is all the bile reserved for Tae?

We don’t need Jimin to be the villain for us to know Tae & Jk love each other & if you really believe Jikook are a romantic couple, you need to ask yourself why you NEED Tae to be the villain.

Perhaps YOU should think about the parts of the puzzle that you are clearly missing. Your insecurities are leaking through in every word - are you going to hate Jimin & Jk when perhaps in a not so distant future, things take a completely different turn to what you’re hoping?

I feel like maybe you’re very young or don’t have much real life experience (or both) & perhaps you need to take a step back - the Bts members are all close in different ways & they know what’s going on in their lives.

Your hate is unjustified & ultimately, only damaging to you.

Hi anon!

Exactly! That anon isn’t even capable of doing what they ask of me/us themselves. They have put themselves in such a ridiculous position, and so have many other Jkkrs. You see some wiggle around a bit uncomfortably when they get asked about Tae, not really wanting to be too negative because ‘oh the wrath of ot7’ and ‘we don’t want to be like Tkkrs’ but they have no other choice than to think poorly of him and they let it shine through in the way they word their responses. In Jkk-land Tae being truthful isn’t even possible.

[telomeke-bbs]

OUR SKYY 2 x BAD BUDDY x A TALE OF THOUSAND STARS – THE WOODS AREN'T LOVELY, DARK AND DEEP

Looking at the structure and the mechanics of the thing (yes, engineering reference here) – the OS2 x BBS x ATOTS forest search is a metaphor for Pat, Pran, Phupha and Tian's journey not just to "find" each other (i.e., to discover new truths about their partner) but also to discover new truths about themselves.

So they started off with Phupha and Pat looking for their other halves Tian and Pran, each paired with a somewhat-opposite of himself – stoic/guarded teaming up with open-hearted/outward-oriented, in order to understand perhaps the POV of their respective significant others.

And then they switched things up with Pran and Phupha alone in the forest looking for Kampung, and learning things about themselves at the same time, with Pat and Tian getting alone time to trade lessons too. (Did Pat really injure his leg that badly? Or was it just the leeches? 😂)

I haven't looked in detail at what those lessons are (because it was just a first watch and I was drinking at the same time, hah!) but I think we all know that they're for the betterment of each couple's relationships, and for resolution of their fundamentally conflicting dynamics.

Little Kampung was the catalyst for both expeditions into the unknown, and I wonder what significance we'll find if we dig a little deeper. I already find his name intriguing from a linguistic point of view. Does anyone know how it's spelt in Thai?

A brief note about the forest. It's not a merry walk in the woods, even though we saw large chunks of the journey taking place in bright, open clearings fringed with bamboo.

The tropical southeast Asian forest is dense and dangerous, hiding death in every corner if you fail to give it respect. It's not just the larger carnivores on land like leopards and tigers (though their numbers are on the decline), or crocodiles in the water, or the poisonous scorpions and snakes in the undergrowth (watch your step!). Large herbivores like the elephant and gaur can easily dispatch an unarmed human if they feel threatened. And wild boars will turn into vicious meat-eaters if given the opportunity.

Death also lurks from above. Sometimes it's pythons laying in wait (their favorite modus operandi is to throw themselves onto prey from branches above, and in the confusion coil and strangle their unfortunate victim). And even the trees themselves can kill – tree branches weighing the equivalent of a dining table can and do break off due to weakening from disease or rain weight, and any larger living creature caught below will be a goner.

Villagers who have to venture into the forest learn early on to respect it, and this respect for the risks of nature has translated into the forest acquiring a dark, supernatural dimension for many cultures (i.e., the idea that the forest is also home to different spirits, many malevolent, and who need to be appeased and/or whose permission needs to be sought for any act deemed too intrusive). A Thai movie example that somewhat illustrates this is Nang Nak (there's also a version starring a young Sine Inthira, for any fans of hers out there 💖).

Unlike the tribes who live with and within the forests themselves, settled peoples from outside may not always have the life skills to cope with all the jungle throws at you once you enter its realm. People can disappear without a trace – the two most well-known in Western media are Bruno Manser and Jim Thompson (because, you know, missing white person syndrome), but of course there must be legions more unnamed locals swallowed whole, never seen again and never named outside the country's media. 🤷‍♂️

So I think this awareness of how the forest can swiftly take away your life underlies our four (OK five, including Kampung) heroes' struggles in the wilderness – it's life and death in there, so in living out the metaphor PatPran and PhuTian were in more than one sense battling for the survival of their own pairings (because fundamental differences in each partner's approach to couplehood can also kill a relationship, no matter how strong the love).

It's unfortunate that the optics that were finally presented seemed much lighter than they should have been. This was not a walk in the warm embrace of bright country woods. And it gives weight to Pat saying "I can't live without you" to Pran at the end (Ep.3 [4/4] 9.18) – he wasn't actually saying he couldn't bear to be physically parted from his soulmate (with an eye on Singapore looming here). He was saying that Pran is life itself to him (also a reference to the meaning of Pran's name in Sanksrit here too, see this write-up here), and without Pran alive and well (which is what the risks of the forest journey represented) Pat's own existence would be devoid of life. And Pran has learnt his lesson well too, and returns the sentiment immediately.

This understanding that each lives for the other is what allows them to be parted when Pran goes to Singapore to further his architectural career, for they'd learnt that after their own life-and-death situation they can weather any storm. Physical separation isn't the important thing, because they know what they have will transcend that. My boys! 💖

[glittermutt]

42 and 46 for miko pls!!!! (i hope i spelt her name right) ily bestie <3

i saw ur other asks so ik ur referring to mariko!! literally dw about it, autocorrect fucks stuff up for me all the time too;;

3. Brothers, sisters? Who do they like? Why? What do they despise about their siblings?

she has a brother, hiro! they have a great relationship, i'd go as far as to say that they consider eachother best friends! of course there's some bickering here and there, but overall they get along super well!! the only thing she hates about hiro is that he smells like shit 😭

5. Were they overprotected as a child? Sheltered?

oh DEFINITELY not, both mariko and here have the best parents ever, they had a lot of freedom as kids and that lead to them growing up extremely extroverted and confident in themselves <3

42. What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain?

she doesn't know - that's actually a big part of her character i would say. she's still figuring her life out, and she spreads herself thin trying out to figure out what she wants to do in life and what sort of measures she needs to use to ontain that. but as a less serious thing, what she wants all the time is .. legos? she's completely insane about legos and spends way way WAY too much money on them;;

46. Is your character tall? Short? What about size? Weight? Posture? How do they feel about their physical body?

she's around 171 CM tall, or about 5'8! so definitely average height i would say :3 she's fit, cause she's pretty sporty, specifically she's keen on football and going to the gym! she LOVES her appearance, she loves loves loves her body and she wants others to love their own bodies too, so she tries helping everyone with their self-image!!

<333 ty again maaxx;;; hhghg i love doing this stuff

[missfingers]

Uhmmmmm hunt wound and ghost for Dyheri (?) hope that is spelt right

thank you anon !!!!! lets GOOOOOO

hunt: Who or what is your OC hunted by? A person, a feeling, a past mistake? Is your OC able to let their guard down, or are they constantly alert?

its been so long that he isnt constantly on guard or anything. like in a literal sense dyheri is hypervigilant but its becauses hes a rogue and a thief so he Has to be alert to survive. but specifically the person whos hunting him is so far in the past and he believes he never even cared for him at all so dyheri would have no idea that his fathers even looking for him. the regret haunts him definitely, he wonders if he did the right thing running away, but then quickly will stamp the feeling out with resentment instead. meanwhile his dad khnorvir HAS been hunting him since the day he left hes just never found him to the point that he thought he was dead and began practicing necromancy

wound: How does your OC handle being wounded? Are their wounds mostly physical? Mental? Emotional? What's the worst wound your OC has ever experienced?

the two most obvious answers are the trauma from his childhood and while not a "wound" in the practical sense more like a gradual adjustment into disability his blindness. normal wounds are treated with the appropriate amount of lone practical care to keep him moving and hes pretty detached about them. his childhood however fundamentally changed how he views relationships - he was born to parents who didnt care fully for him and unintentionally or not taught him by sending him on rogue jobs with their associates that rhe only way to get affection was by doing service for other people and all love was conditional and temporary. so not only did that cause him to run away from his foster father out of abandonment issues, now long into adulthood he doesnt trust anyone and solely shows platonic affection through trying to awkwardly share his spoils with those he likes / doing tasks for them.

his blindness. he came from the underdark so already has sensitive eyesight attuned to pitch black + was born with albinism which made them even more sensitive so when he ran away from home and found his way to the surface he quickly learned to start covering his skin and eyes to prevent injury. but more than a century in sunlight with delicate eyes like his will worsen his eyesight no matter how resilient he was. hed probably have a lot of internalised ableism about it at first - fear, mainly, because hes afraid of relying on other people and believed losing his eyesight would disadvantage him and make him lose his independence and Have to depend on others. through surviving on his own throughout this change however he'd realise this isn't the case, he'd adapt his own ways to accommodate his new needs and additionally meet a faerie dragon named scrimp that would become his service familiar. by the time he's lost the majority of his eyesight he's made peace with it as much as any newly disabled person can - he still has spells of despair and frustration but on the whole he copes well and is now used to thinking even faster to keep ahead of those wanting to use it against him.

ghost: Who or what haunts your OC? What happened? How do they live with their ghosts?

simple! his foster father kh'norvir. as ive said before dyheri had very uncaring birth parents but theyd hang around a tavern where a gloura bard played. he saw how badly mistreated the child was and through his charms managed to get the parents to pass custody under the guise of an apprenticeship and raised him as his own. dyheri though had already learnt that the love he was given was conditional so was convinced khnorvir would get sick of him and give him away like anyone else had. he acted out on purpose to make this happen quicker but it of course dient happen, so in his teen elf years he finally decided that if he ran away first then khnorvir wouldnt habe the opportunity to abandon him. so he did

on the whole hes successfully let his mind paint khnorvir as just as villainous as his parents and their colleagues over the decades so hes convinced himself he was right and doesnt miss him. he gets lonely so often because of his inability to let people in but he just resigns himself to believing this is how he has to live to survive in a cruel world

smile !

[gludgenbell]

Tell us about your your day! Did anything interesting happen?(answer by the end of the day)

04 12 2023;

I missed the bus for school so my sister dropped me and my brother off

My classes are biology, graphic design tech 2, participation in democracy and algebra 2-

So I started the day with biology and learned about the systems in the body; in depth

But it was a short day today so class was not an 95 minutes and I spent 6 minutes getting to my second period because it's at the back of the school

And all biology classes are at the front

I made my shirt yesterday for the shop my class is doing this Friday, and today was a crunch day

We finished more pre-orders, did keychains, more shirts, and stickers especially

I did some promotional video editing on the side

By lunch I was very hungry, was the first one in the cafeteria as usual and went to the wrong meetup spot (where my friends hang out)

Got a bit insecure that I'm always the last person to find out specific things even though I try to ask everyday, but it's whatever and we talked about a guy who didn't like women taking birth control

Because she'll piss it out and it'll end up in the tap water and then everyone will be drinking birth control

And we came to the conclusion that he just wants to be a dad so badly ✊️

Anyways

3rd period was fun, we're writing our own constitution and my friends and I are my teacher's prized group because we always make the projects fun

And now we're collaborating on a for fun storyline about a night school for Knights (because we had to design a school and we came up with: Knight of Bell; the Night School for Knights [18:00-00:00])

Anyways there's this chill guy Kjell who's always in my group and I'm just mentioning him because he's nice

Was late to my 4th, as always, today because I had to piss

Class went surprisingly well, I drew as per usual and worked on requests for my table mates because I mention commissions and they tell me no so a sketched easy request it is

Took the bus home and talked with another friend (she lives in my community) about the night school for Knights and the rival character

My sister picked me up from the bus stop, the dogs in tow, and we went around getting gummies and catching pokemon

I did some more writing for my story spirits of eden and then discussed with my mom possible shirt designs for our upcoming fundraiser (I'm going to Utah for our next next game maybe and since I'm already doing shirt work my parents think it'd be nice to use my art)

(In general also, if I want a shirt design my dad said he'd help me get what I need together)

Then I got nervous because all my art is sketchbook art and no real digital ones at the moment and I'd like to show actual art like everyone wants and I don't have much at the moment...

I asked my younger sister to help me with Mt laundry, then started a sketch of rukkadehvata (hope I spelt it right) and scheduled it for sometime saturday I think?

Around 7ish I started fixing my room; just putting my clothes away

All my siblings and both my parents were home so we gathered and decided to play fnaf 1 (we don't do this extremely often; it's always a treat when we get these nights together) and it was my turn at night 3

I didn't realize Freddy would move and my strategy did not account for him until I kept hearing his music and peeked at the stage

Only to find it

Completely empty

But I lived!

Freaking foxy jumped from phase 1 to 2 in under a second where I flipped the camera twice because I didn't get a good look the first time 😒😒😒

In between that I was playing sky with my wives, and the night will end with me in my room, drawing Rukka again

I did not call with one of my wives as I usually do; but all is well! Another time another time

I'll sleep in an hour

[purpleleafsyt]

Hi! I adore your tmnt iteration designs!

What happened (who I’m assuming is) Donnie’s jaw? It looks like it’s made of metal(which looks really cool by the way!).

Aaah I'm so glad you like them!! I thought so hard about their designs shfhd

And you're right! You are asking about Donnie, thoughhhh they go by a different name, all the turtles except Venus do!!

(Which,,, is Dawni, because I couldn't find a name that stuck and so I thought "wouldn't it be cute if I spelt his name differently? And then that stuck lmao)

Anyways!! I would like to preface this with saying I am in no way a medical professional, and am bullshitting everything the entire way with baseline research while also combining a fictional and hardly explained magic with real science. I am so sorry if nothing makes sense or is filled to the brim with inaccuracies lmao

His jaw. Yeah it's made up of a mystic-mechanical metal, and is a prosthetic.

I don't want to go too far in depth about Everything that happened, but I took inspiration from Rise and Bayverse that the turtles were made in a lab, and intentionally as,, weapons.

So, while the turtles and Splinter were mutating things went very very wrong, and the lab started to explode. Splinter could only get to one turtle and save them before being forced to flee, the other three being lost elsewhere.

(So, this is also a separated au)

Except Dawn, who was trapped and hurt very badly from everything, but don't worry! The mutagen is keeping them alive(yay) and in a whole lot of pain(not yay)

Basically, since they were created intentionally, the mutagen was coded specifically with enhanced healing, and while the mutation process is going on it keeps the subject stable, which spreads to like, injuries.

Dawn lived only because Draxum found them in a relatively short timeframe, and rushed them into intensive care, where it was necessary to amputate. Dawn stayed in the ICU for,, A Long Time before finally healing enough to be released. It took even longer for the prosthetic arm and leg as Draxum was not like, the most familiar with tech, he's still an alchemist in this iteration.

A cuter fact is that's why Dawn got interested in science and building things, because half of their limbs is mechanical and their father is A Scientist and that is so cool, isn't it?

As for all the rest of it,,, I oh so helpfully drew a ref of it

(if you need me to write out the notes, don't be afraid to ask!)

Aaand of course, you can ask clarifying questions (though, depending on the question, may not be answered because of Plot aha)

[coghive]

The Kind of Heartbreak We Don’t Usually Talk About

In my second year in junior high school, I made a friend. No, actually, she made me. I was an introverted teen you see, still am but not as socially withdrawn as I used to be then. So, it was a Saturday morning and we needed to do laundry.  Somehow, we got talking about a drum to store water (it was a boarding school) and that was where we hit it off. She was a new kid in school that got recently transferred and she needed a friend; I did too. And boy was she a beautiful soul. She still is and I hope she gets to read this. Our dorm rooms were opposite each other and so we would do almost everything together. She would come to my room so we could observe our personal devotion together. We would go for classes together, the dining hall, the mini-mart, for sports, for prep, you name it. Heck, we even got to twin on our house wears sometimes. It was such a good time to be alive. She would make me laugh my stomach out. We laughed at the stupidest of things and we were happy. It was just one of the purest friendships I have ever experienced. But then it wasn’t always so rosy. The same way we could laugh at the stupidest of things was the same way we got into fights at the slightest irritation. Now, that I think of it, I can’t even remember anything in particular that made us fight but we did get into a lot of squabbles with each other.  Of course, we always made up but that didn’t guarantee that we wouldn’t fight again. Fights are a part of healthy relationships but what do you do when they get too much? So, one day, we had gotten into one of our usual squabbles. I had gone out of class during break time and when I got back, my friend said we needed to talk. Those words spelt doom; I should have known but my naïve mind just believed that we were going to work things out as usual.  We stood at a corner of the classroom and that day, I heard those cruel words for the first time in my life, “Blessing, we can’t be friends anymore. It’s over between us.” Right then, my heart broke. I heard a thud in my heart and I couldn’t believe my ears. What just happened? Did she just break our friendship up? I can’t express the pain I felt adequately in words but it hurt badly.  I mean we were so close that we had people coming up to us wanting to join our friendship circle. I had questions I wanted to ask. Like who was trying to sabotage what we had? Who had she been listening to? Who put her up to this? But there’s a little straight thinking you can do when you have just been rejected and your heart broken. I was eleven years old by the way. Things went downhill pretty much after that. By the third year of junior high, we were more like acquaintances. In senior high, we became friends again but things never went back to the way they were. Over the years, we’ve tried to keep communication open.  Now, we just wish each other happy birthdays and reply to funny memes once in a while. We haven’t seen each other in years even though we’re in the same city. And it is fine, I totally understand. We are all just swamped up with the challenges of adulthood. Some friendships are just for a season but that doesn’t make it hurt less when we lose them. I’m talking about quality friendships here. What I miss the most about this friendship is how free we were to bring out our inner child and how comfortable we were to just be each other.  It’s hard to find such pure, childlike, unadulterated friendships these days. This is the kind of heart break we rarely talk about. When our friends move to another state or relocate to another country and we lose them; we’re happy for them but it still breaks us to not have them be in our lives anymore.  When they know everything about us; our secrets, flaws, dreams, ambitions and all; and we just drift apart without warning, what do we do with the vacuum they leave? What do you do when the person you shared some of your most cherished moments with becomes a stranger to you? What happens when they die and leave you in this cruel world? The most important need of the human soul is genuine connection.  What do you do when you find a raw and deep connection with someone and it abruptly comes to an end? What do you do when you have news and you want to share it with them and you remember that y’all don’t vibe like that anymore? Friends come and friends go but some friendships are irreplaceable and when they end they leave the most debilitating effects. So, when are we going to start talking about the heart break of genuine platonic friendships? Read the full article

[ofmagicallonging]

Nilo was so confused to what was happening. The way Nick was acting only confused him more. Why was his teacher being so calm, let alone here? He wanted answers so badly. As he started to wake more, he struggled more against the restraints. Trying everything he could to get his hands free. His squirming was turning to more struggles. None of it had the strength to pull free. If anything, he was more likely to damage to himself first than to the restraints. His entire body was squirming and wiggling in his attempts. However his head was still groggy and he was still waking up from whatever he'd been given, so his harder attempts didn't last that long. Soon he was back to the small weak squirming that didn't do anything for him.

Nilo looked up at Nick with a quizzical look. None of this was giving him an explanation on where he was or what was happening. "Wh....wh...at..." he was forcing the words to come. He had no choice. Nick didn't seem to freely give up information he needed. No he just seemed to be trying to look after him in this bizarre situation. But he simply couldn't find what he wanted to say. Let alone express it verbally. He then started to try and sign. It wasn't nearly as good as what he could do or even proper sentences. He first tried the sign for mute. But the restraints meant he couldn't do that correctly. So his next attempt was just letters. Maybe Nick might see that. He spelt out the word mute. His finally attempt was just signalling for a pen. Maybe the message might get across.

But as his initial panic started to die down, Nilo realised he was thirsty. He looked at the bottle that was being held there. The nib instantly catching his eye. He blushed a shade of pink as he relucantly wrapped his lips around it. The blush only darkened as he took a drink from it. Sucking on the nib until he'd emptied the bottle, after all he hadn't really finished his drink from earlier. When he was done, he turned his head to one side, the side that faced him away from Nick in an attempt to hide his embarrassment.

ofmagicallonging​:

Nilo had decided that going to university far from home would be a good choice. It’d maybe force him to go on the adventures he so badly wanted. He’d make friends. He’d have stories to tell. But really it was far from that. Everything was a huge shock to him and it was clear he didn’t adapt well. There was more people in the university than there was on his entire island. He was overwhelmed by all his lessons and more overwhelmed by the city itself. Then with the expectation of Nick’s lessons, he really struggled with everything. His grades were bad, he rarely turned up to most classes. Even with Nick’s he’d skip if there was any chance he’d have to speak there. When he did come, he’d stay to one side and keep to himself. He wouldn’t interact much at all. He even daydreamed in some lessons. It was clear to anyone that he needed someone to look after him. Heck he even wanted to have someone look after him and make it all less overwhelming.

Nilo wasn’t sure how to even find such a thing. All he had was his routines and habits. It was the closest he had to being looked after. That day after class he got himself a hot drink like always. He remembered seeing Nick there, he thought he’d seen the teacher there a few times if he was being honest. Then things went hazy. Soon after, it went black.

As his eyes started to open, his head felt like it was pounding. His eye sight was completely blurry. But even in his current physical state he could feel how he was. The gag was fine. Gags were great actually. Gags meant there was no pressure to ever talk. If he could get away with being gagged most of the time, it was something he’d jump at. But his hands being restrained, worried him. He started to try to pull them free but all he was capable of doing was squirming weakly. His eyes slowly fixed on the blurry figure in front of him. Confused whining noises were escaping behind his gag. It was the closest thing g he had right now. Their voice sounded so familar, if only he could place it.

At the pat, Nilo could only squirm more. Suddenly realising what was on him. Though in a strange way, it kind of felt comforting. He couldn’t describe it though. His eyes started to focus more, and he thought he saw his teacher. It couldn’t be right. Yet the closer Nick got, he couldn’t deny that was who it was. Another confused noise came from him, and he tried to free his hands once more. His eyes widened as the gag was taken away from him. He really wished that had been kept in place. He went to open his mouth, and just like he’d expected, no words came. That’s how it always went when he wasn’t around someone he trusted. Yet, given his position, he needed to force himself to say something. He needed his hands. “I…I.. I.. n..n..” was all that he was able to get out before letting a small noise of frustration.

More than anything else, Nilo worried Nick. He did well enough in his class for the most part, but there were several days where he just didn’t show up. When he did show up, he kept well to himself, not participating and just barely seeming to be hanging on in terms of looking after himself. Frequently, he appeared to either be lost in thought or on the verge of falling asleep. Nick couldn’t tell which one. He did know, through learning Nilo’s routine, that this wasn’t necessarily unusual behavior. The boy was on the verge of academic probation and seemed to stumble his way through his daily routine.

That, at least, had been a tremendous help with Nick learning more about Nilo and learning just how much the boy desperately needed his care. It had been easy enough to slip a little something into the daily hot drink Nilo would buy. It had looked as though the boy had started to feel unwell to the average bystander, and easier still for Nick to make a show of getting him home to rest.

Nilo had a bit of a strange reaction to Nick taking the pacifier gag out of his mouth. Yes, it was a long-term goal that Nilo would eventually come to enjoy having a pacifier for comfort, but he almost seemed comforted by it even now. His brow pinched in concern when Nilo couldn’t seem to get out even a single word. Was this trouble speaking why he hadn’t consistently been in Nick’s, or any, classes? How had he missed that?

“Hey, it’s okay,” Nick soothed, picking up a bottle of water he’d set on a table beside Nilo’s bed when he’d come in to the room. “I know this is a lot to take in all at once. Let’s have some water and we can try again in a little while.” Gently, he held the nib of the bottle against Nilo’s lips.

[butchford]

*thinks abt the two ocs I currently have residing in my head, both of which are nameless* oh these guys are fucked up.